Haunted…

I’m not really sure how to start this post, write in it, or end it… all I know is that the other night I met up with a friend of Luke’s who I haven’t seen in years. He asked me if I still painted, and when I said no, he just looked down at the table, nodded his head, and said “that’s a shame”.

And now I’m stuck, and I keep playing it over and over in my head. That was who I was. Such an integral part of me, and now it… isn’t? And someone actually think’s that that’s a shame? How did that HAPPEN??????????

… and I just don’t know what to think, or how to feel, or what to do…

I guess I’m disappointing in myself? Angry with myself? But I’m also tired and unmotivated.

Lately I’ve thought about painting every day. And I’m scared that I’ll never do it again. But every day I go to work, and I make dinner when I get home, and I think to myself, “Talia, be a better wife and clean something for goodness sake!“, and I clean something small, or watch TV with Luke, or just generally waste my time.

I let every day slip away, and I do nothing with it.

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Tags: art, creative, day, haunted, me, paint, painting, ross, whoamI?